I don’t know if this is all that relate-able for you, but I never received any type of support from my family for pursuing music as my lot in life.

I mean, it makes a ton of sense. Could you ever imagine telling your kid “hell yeah! School? Fuck that! You should scream and yell and make shit tons of noise all for the love of it instead of attending college, which would cement a salary that’ll cover your ass when the going gets tough. Music is what FUELS the soul”?

So (un)surprisingly enough, they made every effort to shake me of the siren song that was calling my name towards the hazardous rocks of ruin.

They couldn’t break me from the spell though. And ever since, I’ve been chasing my white whale with no consideration for life, limb, finance, or relationship since. It’s been a long road of extreme highs and lows. Some of the most euphoric moments I’ve ever experienced in my life. And then immediately crushed by the most cruel lows I think anyone could ever endure.

It’s hard living an art-centered lifestyle. The biggest reason honestly because you seem to be fighting off the army of cynicism and criticism from every angle. Being surrounded on all sides, a lone ship that’s been hopping from island to island for a quick reprieve from the advancing fleet. A drink from the oasis, a visit to the merchant for supplies, and off again. Fighting to taste the bittersweet freedom that hangs in the air and your nostrils, teasing you like a carrot on a stick.

Maybe not for all, but I’ve dealt with a large share of criticism. None of it I would say unreasonable from the opposing point of view. But ultimately makes for a shoddy support system. More or less you have to rely on your self-confidence and squash your self-doubt to keep moving ahead.

The song “Art For Artist’s Sake” that I wrote and released back in December is my stab at dealing with this issue. Not only for me, but for anyone who’s ever had the courage to do what they thought was right for them. Whether that’s music, art, photography, traveling, pursuing a degree in a “jobless” field, donating their time to building homes in crippled nations, dedicating their efforts to help the environment, fighting tyranny, or anything else where you felt like you were the only person you had.

Speaking specifically from a musician’s point of view, there’s a lot of opposition. If you don’t have the good – and deserved – fortune of a supportive family, to girl/boy-friends who can’t wrap their mind around what it is you love to do, to critics tearing down your efforts, to people who jock the message boards like high school children, to your job not letting you take off for tour and under the constant threat of being fired, to trying to make ends meet though you can’t afford it, to people who can’t understand why you do what you do cause it offers no financial sense, to in-band turmoil – on and on and on – it can eventually feel utterly pointless. Feel like being under a microscope? Start a band.

The “Chorus of Critics” played by Chris Pogue of These Eyes and Ben Kotin from Such Gold (who were awesome) were the ever-tireless march of criticism that seems to permeate through even the most honest and thoughtful intentions. The “Phantom”, was the lonely creature who continues to maintained his ground on the stage, heart on his sleeve, allowing himself to be subjected to ridicule and criticism of everyone who will pass judgment.

As cheesy as it is, when the lyrics started to hit me for the song, I somehow likened it (loosely) to the Phantom of the Opera.

Not that I’m familiar with the story at all, but from what I gather of commercials throughout the years for the Broadway musical and Wikipedia, it’s about a Phantom who lives alone, falls in love with a girl, pursues his love, and is judged and hated for his love.

No, it’s not all bad. But it is one helluva roller coaster ride.

And I don’t think I’m the only one around that feels like I have to justify my every step to every one around. If you ever felt like this, that the world is bearing down on you, waiting for any type of misstep so they can chide and harangue you for your “idiocy” of pursuing love, idealism, justice, art, or any other redeemable quality in this life. Their “reason” attempting to haunt your thoughts and take up residence in your internal dialogue with their horrible, thundering voices. Their dreams are forever dead because they gave into reason, and so they try to convince you why your dreams should also be just as dead. This song is for you.

Here’s to us never forgetting that taste of freedom.

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